Wanderlust

So why am I (and so many other Chinese) so excited about Beijing hosting Olympics? Because seeing a country that was so technologically and economically behind  merely sixty years ago when it first declared its own sovereignty and gained recognition in the world, and now it is able to host such an extravagant and important international festival, makes us proud. Despite all the security and environmental concerns (and the overrated, most talked-about political problems), I cannot wait for it to commence and from the bottom of my heart I wish China nothing but the best.

I just got distracted sitting on the balcony and watching clouds change shapes.

I will be in New York again from tomorrow until the 15th, then, Hrant and I are driving back together to Toronto. For anybody who has driven to Niagara Falls, there’s a landmark on the way right beside the highway that has always caught my attention and aroused some curiosity.

Does this ring a bell? I found some information about this abandoned pirate ship and have decided to finally pay a personal visit when we drive past it coming back from New York. Of course, I will give a detailed report afterwards.

Otherwise, I’m just working on some music here and there, just finished a week of the Toronto Summer Music Festival with pianist Andre Laplante (whose masterclasses I enjoyed tremendously), listening to some Ben Harper music, enjoying the beautiful breeze of Toronto.  I remember saying Toronto is boring, but I think I’ve really come to appreciate its serenity and its lack of social pressure especially after I’ve been to NYC a couple of times.

… and learning more about myself through the mirror of immediate others a.k.a. my mother.

You might find this interesting: write a letter to the FutureMe.  It’s like a time capsule, except in the form of a letter. I think my diary has served as a constant media for my future self, but perhaps I will write one some day when I’m in excruciating pain or joy; or, have just realized the most secretive part of my soul.

So long, love.

Note to self: tonight was the first and last time this school year for sulking and being submerged in negative thoughts sent forth by our old friend Reality.

Currently, I’m feeling hungry and slightly drunk. No I didn’t have a single sip of alcohol, I think the reason is too much music and too little sleep. So I’m sitting here and eating ice-cream instead of real food, because the prospect of sudden explosions of body fat which might happen when I’m in my thirties due to being a dietary libertine for the first thirty years of my life isn’t all the appealing really. But I’m not sure if it’s any better.

I find it so very fascinating that this thing we call “life” (in a collective and general sense) is so multi-faceted. One can choose so many different paths that would lead to naturally different lives, or lifestyles, for different purposes. Wow, if only we could live more than once being the same self. It’s one of the things that only exist only in imagination that keeps intriguing me.

I don’t remember if I’ve ever written it here, that I think (classical) musicians in our present society are the bunch that contribute the least to the society, in terms of substantiality. Of a much high percentage, these people are all about self-exploration and self-fulfillment, or the self-sufficiency within it’s own species. What is knowledge if it’s not being applied and utilized?

And sometimes I wonder between suffering like an African child without food and shelter, or suffering like a soul lost its dream and its hope, which one hurts more. If you are must choose a way to suffer, which way would you choose?

闭上眼睛，满脑子都在无意识地演奏着李斯特奏鸣曲。我的大脑要爆炸了。这么荡气回肠的东西怎能让人入睡。

明天早晨8点钟在学校本来要参加愈加的，这么晚了还睡不着，看来肯定是起不来床了。

最近发现，原来如果我的被褥没有重量（比如说很轻的羽绒被）我就睡不着。必须用有重量的毯子等压在身子上方可入睡。这就叫做生命不可承受之轻啊。

自从去了班芙，就被每天大脑能够感收到的所有不同的想法轰炸。太多了！我简直要晕菜。甚至觉得自己有患妄想症的前兆。

记得在班芙，有的时候一天两次私人课（当然是不同的老师），再加下午一个大师班，最后我瘫在琴凳上望着琴谱都不知道该怎么办了。太多启发人的建议，到最后就算我只当海绵也吸不过来了。

最近我的大脑还特别喜欢把时间抻得比本身要长。昨晚和朋友出去吃饭几天一回想好像怎么也是两天以前了。

在家呆太多了这就是。

在ebay上买了一双短靴，人给这的解释是：一双80年代的彼得.潘海盗靴。等着收到以后看看是更彼得潘还是更海盗。

但其实我也特别被这双鞋吸引，但考虑我的男士鞋已经有若干双了，只好放弃。

I have finally watched these two pieces of work that convey a set of ideas of love in life. And I must say that they have changed my view in thinking that I was only one with ideas like that.

I’ve always thought that I am pessimstic holding an optimistic view of love. I believe in love’s purity and its absolute beauty, yet I just don’t believe that it can be found in the world easily, or that it happens to everyone - of course myself included. One of the things that the two main characters in the films seem to always bring up is, when two people actually are bound together in the triviality of life, they will start to get tired of each other and eventually dislike each other. Yes, I think that’s when the romance of love packs its bag and leave the building.

Or maybe we just tend to get too close to each other and leave no room.

We can analyze so much of how love is and how it should be and how it should not be like for most people in the world, but that’s still not going to help us embrace love when it knocks on your door. I can only say, when it comes, take courage and be joyful in hope, patient in affliction.

Two days ago my mom and I decided to go out and do some shopping. Then, we realized the elevators were not working properly - that’s when my mom had the brilliant idea of walking all the way down to basement from our 25th floor. I guess the pain in my calves when I woke up the next day was totally expected, so I’m walking around in the house like a 90 year old grandma. Can’t even press pedals properly! That’s when you realize you need to do some regular workouts. (and that’s another reason why you wish you lived at the Banff Centre)

I’m currently working on some old pieces this week to bring to the festival next week, then I will be off to New York again.  Life is looking good.